Distraction and Strawberry Jam

Depression ~ summarizing the concept in a single word may give you the misguided illusion that you can have a hint of a notion of it's enormity, of it's power. A single, overused word to describe this pain, uncertainity, isolation, fear and longing!

I have the black cloud over my head but also experience a sense of suffocation, of throttling by strong hands around my throat, around my heart. My hands. I want the pain to end, I want to breathe but I am caught between the two worlds. I cry for peace; the light of hope is being snuffed out. I am too small to fight this.

What can an ant do against the might of a tank???
Distract itself until the fear goes away....

So.

Last night Andrew made the first batch of sweet, delicious Strawberry jam from our own lottie. Joy heaped upon joy; the sight of those perfect, rich red babies, their smell and all that sugar (naughty). It all bubbled away in the pot whilst I sat post-shower-calm in front of this laptop. Later, much later, I got to try some still warm out of the jar - oh it was good. We discussed it's merits in between - uummmm sounds.

It was a fabulous colour

The smell was divine

Andrew had left it very whole fruity so you got bite and body to the perserve.

It was warm, which was lovely in itself.

Not too sweet but as Goldilocks would say: 'just right'.

The consistanty is a little runny, but all the more sensous for it as it drips off the spoon.

There's lots of it!!

And there's more to come :)