How do I put this delicately?

It's a frickin' Twilight sex toy. There, I said it. There IS no delicate way of putting it. IT SPARKLES!! I soiled our lovely blog and probably made half of our readers scream in terror and the other half reach for their credit cards. I made our home into an abomination so that we could pass through Reaver space. I'm sorry fellow Buffyfest bloggers, but I feel I had no choice. What in the hellmouth is becoming of this Twilight fandom?????

Look, it fucking sparkles, people. It sparkles, it has a "deathly pale flesh tone reminiscent of the new moon's glow" and you can put it in the fridge for that "authentic" (i.e., dead vampire penis, for those that are still in shock) experience.

What would Twilight creator/Mormon Stephenie Meyer have to say about this?

via @Sunfire via Twitter who was wondering is this what she's missing by not reading vampire fanfic? Are there lots of references to this? Is it a thing? Please comment because inquiring (and disgusted) minds kinda want to know!