The future ain't what it used to be

As far as I am aware Dickens didn't write a book about New Year so I don't know what the correct term is, I'll just have to stick with the name Scrooge; New Year's Eve ~ Bah Humbug!

I just don't get it, why do we all have to look fondly back over the past year and talk about all the wondeful things that happened? I can think of a few of the top of my head; friends had babies, friends got pregnant, and some got engaged, we won Allotment of the Year, there was the first Allotment open day, trips to Italy and France, Andrew and I turned 30, I made some fabulous on-line friends I wouldn't be without......But. There was a lot of crap too, depression, anxiety, insomina, war, deaths, constant moaning about the Allotments, oh god I despair.....

So if you're into the whole celebration of another year to be conquered and many dreams unfullfilled then HAPPY NEW YEAR  to you! Get drunk like so many people seem to think is necessary (ah, are they in fact hiding behind alcohol and secretly hate the whole party too?) and make some resolutions you won't keep. Then see you tomorrow, where nothing will have changed and it's not really Hoorah!! 2010 but in fact it's just Friday.

I'm not in the best mood as you can tell. I am just fed up with commericalism and the 'need' to be happy. I'm personally exhausted at the thought of another year ahead,  I just try to stick with one day at a time.

Kisses and hugs to you all, I'm off to eat chocolate - now there is a reason to celebrate: chocolate.

I have a happier postt planned for tomorrow on seaweed, do come back for that - I'm not this grumpy all the time :)

2 hours later.....
I've just had the panic attack I was hiding towards, and now I feel clamer with my meds and a hot shower. It sounds very big headed but I just finished reading my own words in the Allotmentherapy essay I wrote earlier this year and I feel better for it, I'm my own therapist, haha. Embrace the new year, a new season for growth, both growth of food and of soul. My deepest love to you all x