too many panic attacks

I need to bend in this storm like the carefully staked young tree. Hold me in your arms, tie me to this earth. I feel so lost in the fog of my past. 'Live for the moment' you say but pure panic is all feel in the now. I need stillness in this turmoil, it blurs all sight of any path to a future. This wind is so cacophonous, discordant and perpetual. I think I'm screaming but none can hear me.

Rooted to the spot, I am ridgid about to break. All is madness.