My support worker came today to take me out and I did two things that have made me feel more positive, I know it won't last long and that isn't me being a pessimist; I can already feel the exhaustion kicking in and the anger at the mess of the house now I have returned. But I must write now - I have to share these ok moments too. It's strange really when you think about it, it can take just one small action (an e-mail from an angel who shares her story and gives you strength, Maggie sneezing, a text from Andrew..) that changes your lookout just long enough to plant a seed of hope and let you know, deep down, that you will make it to this evening, that you aren't going to fall into that bottomless pit of despair, that you shall live.
Number One - Eimear and I went into Carrick and I put another £10 of lose change into the bank - that's another tenner closer to France in September and something tangible that I can look forward too as I see the little pot of holiday money grow fatter :)
Number Two - I bought Andrew the winter flowering Cherry tree he has wanted from the local nursery and got a big ribbon put on it as a surprise. Here it is:
Maybe not the best tree you've ever seen in all your puff but under Andrew's care and tutelage it will be a stunner in a couple of years time. I sneaked a peak at his Black Moleskine to make sure I knew the right name and got Roberta (the owner) to help me - it's fun buying someone you love a gift you know they want. I really hope he likes it.
See, look at his plans for the garden >
I hope I've done good :)
A cheeky Number Three - washed the kitchen floor and put the clothes washing on :) It's the little things - off to sleep now xxxx Can't post this until Andrew gets home or he may see it and it would ruin the surprise!
He was pleased - yipppeeee
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