Developments!

I don't like appointments, especially when the subject matter is me and my mental health, so today has been terribly tainted by a visit from my social worker. This was made all the worse because after an hour waiting for her and getting more and more uptight, I rang her office and she'd written down the wrong time in her diary. Luckily she was able to come straight over and luckily Mamma G had been in the house with me. I just hate lateness and the panicky feeling hasn't died down all day. So I'm grumpy and need Andy cuddles, but he's at an allotment committee meeting and so it's just me and you (Maggie is comfty with her Nana downstairs).

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Prepare yourself for some devilishly clever play on words......
After months of going through a particularly awful and serious depression low I finally have some good news. My photography (developments - eh, get it?!)  has been accepted by a lovely gallery here in Co. Antrim and I am to hand in my first batch next week. The owners are absolutely lovely and both creative and artistic people. David is a stained glass specialist who has done churches, homes and our very own Stormont Castle - a large piece to commemorate the setting up of the offices of First and Deputy First Ministers. Stunning - see their studio here.

On top of that news, all our seedlings are just so excited to be growing (I imagine them having parties at night and being very rowdy - but I'm just mental). I must point out however that I have planted only some broad beans and sweet peas, Andrew has done EVERYTHING else and boy has there been a lot of it. Below are a few photos of the seedlings in the cold frames at the lottie but there are the same amount again on Mamma G's window sills and really goodness knows how many he had planted directly.

I haven't been down at the lottie except for about half an hour last week - my passion for life in general has dwindled and I am finding it more and more difficult to socialise or get things done.

Not quite back on my feet again and writing this is like pulling teeth, so I'm off to have another nap and then tomorrow I shall return with avengance. Hear me roar!!!! My heartiest wish is that you had a lovely Easter; I shall catch up on all the Easter-y posts later on tonight, thank you for you're Eastery wishes to me by the way x. Andrew and I went to Rowallane gardens and I'll hoke out some snaps from that day - it was lovely and Maggie had a whale of a time with all the the other dogs and sweet kids that wanted to play with her.

I WILL be cheerer tomorrow, promise x

Aaaarrrrggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Too many blogs, too many darn good blogs to try and keep up with! God grief I lose my concentration for a week (sleeping problems = bad concentration + double vision = can't be bothered) and you all go nuts writing blogettes like there is no tomorrow! I must knuckle down and read tonight.

Tonight is of course the first Wednesday of the month and therefore.....(drum roll)....the Allotment Committee meeting. (Drum roll fades out into a dismal few bashes on said drum). It seems it could all be, excuse the expression, going tits up. Ronnie, my super duper lottie mate has resigned as Chairperson, another member resigned a few weeks ago and Andrew is ready to do the same. They just aren't getting any happier and the whole thing is ruining the lottie experience for each and every one of them. I CAN NOT have my hubby crazy like Christmas morning about building a new cold frame and getting on with the seed planting one mintue and then remembering there's a meeting coming up and getting all depressed. The allotments are a place of JOY!! I feel I need to scream it at everyone. Politics? Leave me out of it, I know that is the cowards way but I am not there to lead, I am there for therapy.

So tonight, whilst the meeting goes ahead, I will be trying to catch up on some missed blogs, I have a feeling the meeting may be well over before I'm done!

Keep smiling xx

Newton's 3rd law

Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

I decided a few days ago when I was feeling better than I do today that 'depression and anxiety have opposites ~ love and hope. I am not giving up this fight to move forward with my life, I have love and I have hope and they have EQUAL POWER. I must remember the strength that lies within.'

I'm glad I wrote that down for myself, today is terrible and I needed a pep talk from the real Carrie. Also I have read all the comments left by you, my most loyal and supportive of readers and I thank you once more.

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So, today I feel crap but I have my blankets, my little portable radiator by my side and the sound of the rain pelting down on the Velux windows. I've decided I like these windows, this is the first house I have lived in were there are any. I love to lie here on our Ikea sofa (bargin!!) and watch the clouds go by. Though today there is just one massive cloud over N Ireland so the view is, well, white.

Tonight there is another committee meeting. I am loathed to even think about it but as Andrew is going and the minutes of the last meeting arrived yesterday and the allotment forum page is up on this laptop all the time (Andrew not me) I am finding it hard to ignore. They always seem to descend into arguments and take much longer than the alloted 2 hours. But one good thing is wine is always brought home after ~ to calm Andrew's nerves and just tickle my taste buds while I listen to the whole saga.

Oh, there is unhappiness at the plots and it isn't just about the weather. I have mentioned it before but there is an Exordinary General Meeting proposed, some people are just so fed up. I for one am staying out of it, politics in N Ireland drives me up the walls anyway, I have an allotment to get away from such crap. The forums (though I try very hard not to listen to Andrew) are full of people letting off steam and others trying to clam them down and remind them WE HAVE ALLOTMENTS and that is a good thing; it's all that matters. If we rough up the waters too much with our council we may be seen as an nuisance and god knows what would happen then. I, like many other people down there, NEED my plots. I don't just want it, it is therapy and....oh bother I'm getting annoyed again. (Go to your happy place Carrie...)

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More importantly we bought our seed potatoes yesterday. Damned if I can remember the variety, hold on til I ring Andrew......  Pentland Javlin (1st earlies) and  British Queens (2nd earlies). We aren't doing my favourite Maris Piper this year because we always seem to get horrendous blight on our main crops. Fingers crossed these do well, once we finally get to our plot to plant them and more importantly, fingers crossed they taste yummy and mash well!

x

Politics on the plots

'Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.'

~ Oscar Wilde.

I swear, I am fed up. The allotments are becoming a place for people to gather and moan. I can't stand it, it actually upsets me. It seems that everywhere I look, people are looking for trouble, something else to get annoyed about, and finding it, then applying the wrong remedy. What does moaning about anything do? I loath to use a statement made by Margaret Thatcher but really, if you want something to be spoken about, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman. And here, on this blog, I am that woman.

I mean, really, are we all 12? Could we actually organise a piss up in a brewery? I truly wonder what the purpose of a committee is on our plots, what is going on? Even within the association members there seems to be a complete lack of communication or indeed complete lack of action. I highlight seems for a reason, in the hope that I am wrong. The next couple of months are going to be crucial for the allotments - what is going to be done with the membership fees, where is the money we made on the open day going?

I received my copy of the new rules about fences today and my blood pressure surely went up. I don't wear a heart monitor all the time so I can't prove it, but I have a feeling it did. With it came the minutes of the last meeting, I haven't even looked it properly as so many times in the past it is just a long list of things that were talked about and not resolved or were put off for some other time. Plus there are talks of something to do with twinning up with a group in Poland - for heavens' sake why? What have we to offer anyone when we can't get ourselves off the ground?

Politics is something that is supposed to stay off the plots, like religion it can be explosive. Being brought up in Northern Ireland we know better. I know what I'm doing though ~ head down, concentrate on my plots, my plants and help any living soul who needs it while I'm down there. If you want my opinion on something I shall give it; please respect it as I will respect yours. But for goodness sake STOP MOANING. There are plenty of things in this world worth getting upset about, Eden Allotment Gardens is not one of them!